The "We Are Back Telegraph Road Report!!"
Folks, This here's a Public Service Announcement! Your acute attention may save your life or those of others. Distracted driving is a serious problem in this country. People are being killed everyday because of it and these deaths are senseless. Mostly these problems are being attributed to cell phones. BUT. Cell phones are not the only cause of Distracted driving. On this very morning, Joo-ly 17, Two Thousand and Seventeen, I myself narrowly avoided rear-ending a Jeep Grand Cherokee because I was too busy laughing, and staring in awe at a woman in the car next to me who was somehow picking her nose with her thumb. Somehow she had that thing in there to the first knuckle. Whilst I was trying to work out the math on exactly how that was physically possible, (if I can't do it myself, nose too small, thumbs are too big), I didn't notice the Jeep coming to a halt in front of me. Luckily, since we were just starting to take off from a newly turned green light, we were only doing 5 m.p.h. and I was able to avoid what would most definitely not have been a firey-deadly crash. Please learn from my example and stay focused out there, my friends! People picking their noses in other cars ARE a form of distracted driving. Should you happen to spy such a person, avoid at all costs!!!